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05/24/03

President Megawati Soekarnoputri told the nation to consider it an obligation to acknowledge and respect differences. "That seems to reflect our nationhood. Without needing to boast about our huge differences or cover them up, there needs to give and take," she said.[i] 

Well said Mrs. President. Indeed, one of the biggest challenges in building national unity is how Indonesians can respect differences. 

Every human being is unique. No two people in the world are exactly alike.  All people, even identical twins, have their own experiences and their own perspectives.  Differences, whether due genetic inheritance, environment or culture, do exist and are natural.

If there were no differences, one becomes undistinguishable from others. If all human beings were exactly alike - one meter seventy height, black hair, eaten the same food, wore the same clothes and etc.-  there is no more interest in knowing about others. There are no more words “I”, “you” and “they” since those words are no longer relevant.  Most likely, there would be no progress because progress in most cases is driven by competition - the desire to be different from and better than others.  When all is uniform, there is a huge disincentive to compete and to be different from others.  One of the principal incentives to learning is the imitation of other people's behavior.  Improvement usually starts by imitation.  In fact, the success story of Japanese electronic industry in 70s was due to their ability to imitate the US’s products and improve their design and quality.  So, differences lead to improvement.

It is true that differences could create tension and conflict. But this is because some people do not understand the underlying reason for and the purpose of differences.  History has shown us that failure to respect differences could lead to brutal massacres.

In 1994, the world witnessed the genocide of one million people in Rwanda. Hatred of the Hutu for the Tutsi was the instigation of this heinous act.  Sadly, both groups were Rwandese people, no different in physical attributes, language, beliefs, and culture. Yet a small political twist that exploited differences for political gain was able to destroy those attributes to such an extent that other people’s lives have no value. Men, women, children and infants were mercilessly exterminated.  Hundreds of bodies were seen floating down rivers while whole villages were littered with their former occupants. Time magazine wrote, “There is no more evil in hell, all is in Rwanda.”

But the world has never learned from the past. Only a year later, another massacre occurred in Bosnia and Kosovo resulted in the death of thousands of innocent people. Two decades before, about a million of people were killed in Cambodia. And three decades earlier, about 6 million Jewish people and millions of other people around the globe were killed prior to and during the World War II.  All was started by the refusal to accept differences planted in the mind of the man infamously known as Hitler.

Today, refusal to accept differences is common everywhere.  Why? Any human being possesses power to do good and bad things. The power is in their mind which governs their attitude. This attitude is the way of thinking or looking at things which determines how we behave – feel, think and act - towards people which in turn determine how we interact with others. When people develop negative mindset such as prejudice, hatred, racism and the kind, they will commit bad things. When people develop compassion and tolerance toward others, they will commit good deeds.

Differences must be respected and, above all, they must be cherished. It is not difficult to find when people disrespect differences. It presents whenever room is not made for another person’s viewpoint, situation, or life experience.  Respecting differences means developing tolerance. We do not always like other people's differences. But this does not mean we are bad. We become bad when we are not tolerant toward others by preventing and disrespecting them from being different.

Respecting differences does not mean denying it.  Differences do not disappear by denying it.   Rather, respect is about accepting people for who they are, not about accepting whatever their behavior is.  We respect others just because they are also human beings. While we tolerate people, we should never tolerate bad behavior such as stealing, threatening and destroying others, regardless who they are.  The guideline in respecting others is just the simple golden rule, “Do unto your neighbors what they want them to do onto you.” 

Once John Cook, a retired FBI agent who lived in Georgia was confronted with a situation that no father would ever imagine. On the evening of December 1996, Randy Upton, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation who was working on a double homicide occurred in the Monroe County had called him, asking Mr. Cook to ask his son, Andy Cook, about the murder. Two college students, Michelle Cartagena and Grant Hendrickson were murdered brutally. After being asked by his father, the son admitted that he had killed his classmate and his girlfriend due to the classic reason: jealousy.  Shocking, outrageous, miserable and despite his well aware that his son would be on a death row for the crime he committed, the father decided to report his son confession to the authority.  When asked how he felt about his son, the father said that he still loves his son, he accepts for who he is, but he did not tolerate for what he had done.  In the word of Mr. Cook, “Andy’s crime was done with a malignant heart, but I don’t believe his heart is totally malignant. I believe there is a kernel value of somewhere in him…”[ii]  Many of the problems in the world today are caused by a simple reason when people have difficulties in distinguishing between accepting people and condoning whatever they do.

Lack of respect for differences begins when people judge others by their appearances. It grows quickly when people develop a closed mindset. A closed mindset prevents people to have interest in knowing and respecting others, let alone in cooperating with others. A closed mindset is reflected in an attitude: My ways, never yours. Or, I am always better than you.  Lack of respect for differences also cultivates rapidly when people are trapped in a narrow knowledge of others and the world. As a result, others are always viewed less important.  A narrow knowledge is reflected in an attitude: My world, it is not yours.  Or, I always know better than you.  When people develop such attitude, it is impossible for respect for differences to exist. To escape from the trap of a narrow knowledge and closed mindset, one of the solutions is to be informed about what is happening in the world and find out what one can contribute.

As a nation, what can we hope in the future? A peaceful and prosperous nation? A united nation? If this is our hope, we must address issues of division that are prevalent within our society and hindering our efforts in building a prosperous, united and democratic nation we are dreaming of.

The first step is by taking responsibility in educating and building the characters of our young generation so that they arrive at an appreciation for themselves and learn acceptance for those who are different from them.  We must teach them to learn to appreciate their own differences and the differences of others through understanding the varied and marvelous heritages that enrich our nation.  Many of our ideas and beliefs about race and culture were learned as children or at early age.  So, any effort to implant the minds of the young generations with a better understanding about the world and an attitude to respect others is a priceless investment.

Public figures, politicians and groups leaders must embrace diversity.  They must develop and implement their plans for diversity. Words and actions must coherent since one of the biggest enemies of tolerance and respect for differences is hypocrisy. Together with private sectors, the government must now explore of establishing community centers in cities across the countries where people from all background can get together sharing their knowledge and experience, learning about necessary knowledge and holding diversity festivals.

And lastly, do smile to others as a little smile can tear down differences at instant. 

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